tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post1199386762635324525..comments2023-10-12T02:48:59.370-07:00Comments on The Nefariouspoo of Sarah (A Field Trip into Disability Advocacy): My Responsibility to the PublicSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02841767505240383644noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-44286558612859077842007-01-27T18:40:00.000-08:002007-01-27T18:40:00.000-08:00Kudos to you for such a wonderful post. I once had...Kudos to you for such a wonderful post. I once had an experience on an airplane with Griffin, he had a meltdown and I told everyone he was autistic and having a sensory overload and they immediately responded in a positive manner. I also wore my shirt that says "I love someone with autism" and it also helped. In addition I have cards that I got from the autism society (I think) that has on there that my child is not a spoiled brat but he/she is autistic and having a ..... and it goes on to explain how the child is having a difficult time and is in fact not having a spoiled brat tantrum. It's not in those words but it is very thorough and clear about the child's issues etc...I will dig them out and locate them if you are interested and I can give you the address that is on them if you would like to order some, just let me know on my blog that you would like the info. You are on the right track and you are an awesome mom so keep up the great work and I admire you for all your strength and your perseverance.Lorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16566410028761708698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-86597772236113208352007-01-26T20:18:00.000-08:002007-01-26T20:18:00.000-08:00The more Sandis & Gracie are exposed to new and ex...The more Sandis & Gracie are exposed to new and exciting situations that have the potential for meltdowns the better coping skills they will have when they are older. <br /><br />I work in the children's department at the public library and I see meltdowns all the time. Some of my coworkers can be judgemental when kids have meltdowns (in the back room of course --and they wonder why I don't bring my kids to the library more often). <br />I try and make eyecontact with the embarassed parent and reassure them that the children's area is a safe place for kids to regain their composure and that as they make coming to the library part of their routine their child will feel more comfortable and learn what is expected of them. Or just give them a smile and tell them I hope their little one's day gets better. Some simple gesture to let them know that I sympathize with them.<br /><br />We have a comfortable lobby that parents and overstimulated kids can retire to during StoryTime and come back in when they are ready. I wish there were more places that had "comfort zones". Wouldn't it be nice to take an overstimulated child to a cozy room with soft chairs and a soft rug and a couple of books to wait out a tanturum there and then get back their equilibrium before going back to the grocery shopping? <br /><br />I just wish there were more people who tried harder to not judge or keep the judgemental comments to themselves.Amberthymehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01941547661889457008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-67919338915885070832007-01-26T18:41:00.000-08:002007-01-26T18:41:00.000-08:00(Sorry, blogger is being nuts).
I agree - that ar...(Sorry, blogger is being nuts).<br /><br />I agree - that article is a much different situation. A friend of mine has a nine-year-old son with autism, and she got him a t-shirt that says, "I'm autistic, what's your excuse?" specifically for when they go to the store.Lilihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00941594110486613388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-42693652134566319682007-01-26T18:35:00.000-08:002007-01-26T18:35:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lilihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00941594110486613388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-58800814255860777092007-01-26T10:42:00.000-08:002007-01-26T10:42:00.000-08:00You don't have a responsibilty to the public. You...You don't have a responsibilty to the public. You have a responsibility to raise your children to be well-rounded individuals. And, part of that is putting them in certain social situations so that they can learn.<br /><br />If people don't realize that, it's their problem. If your children or my children make them uncomfortable, then no one is stopping them from leaving if they'd like.Penny Ratzlaffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03368479901015692591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-59431905611096785952007-01-26T00:17:00.000-08:002007-01-26T00:17:00.000-08:00Your approach is right on! Separation/removal is N...Your approach is right on! Separation/removal is NOT the answer. Both your son AND society will be helped if we are all exposed to different life situations.Chrissie in Belgiumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02556806942193998413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-14306002528932703532007-01-25T16:03:00.000-08:002007-01-25T16:03:00.000-08:00We spend so much time being "socially acceptable" ...We spend so much time being "socially acceptable" that we are losing compassion in society. I have been the recipient of all of the rude comments about diabetes. I will test my sugar in public, and pre-pump I shot up right at the table. I never do this so that it is obvious or obnoxious, but I have been told to take it to the restroom on occassion - which I refuse to do. I have seen my best friend be made to feel like a pervert for breastfeeding in public and I have been flipped the bird while parked at a sidewalk so that I can walk my 90 year old directly into the doctors office. Society is no longer concerned or empathic about each other - we only care about what is best or most comfortable for ourselves. I long ago decided that I would not cater to the cares of society. I do not have to explain myself to 'them.' I have to care about and take care of what is important to me - my health, friends and family. Like you, I think we have a responsibility to take care of the situation we are in at that moment. If your child needs extra care in a store, give it to them there. You should not feel like you have to leave - that doesn't take care of the situation. You are showing the public that you are caring for your responsibilities in your way. If they don't like it, they can leave!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-37680617150611469902007-01-25T10:57:00.000-08:002007-01-25T10:57:00.000-08:00Indeed, seconding the remark about a great post. S...Indeed, seconding the remark about a great post. Sarah, how did you respond to your coworker? I agree it sounds like s/he doesn't have children, let alone children with special needs.<br /><br />I've had friends tell me they were the judgmental ones until they had rambunctious kids of their own and then became the parent who did their best to control their own kid. It really sounds like so much of good parenting is just doing the best you can.Lyrehcahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14731508321420598343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-74325794229049868182007-01-25T10:38:00.000-08:002007-01-25T10:38:00.000-08:00Great post Sarah!
Does your coworker have childr...Great post Sarah! <br /><br />Does your coworker have children? I can't imagine that anyone who has experienced a child's meltdown in public would pass such judgments. Just my experiences with other people's children (as a nanny or babysitter) has given me empathy for parents going through a tantrum. <br /><br />Usually I give the parents a compassionate look and then ignore the situation, there's no need to stare, we've all seen upset kids before! <br /><br />I really appreciate your posts about raising children... I'm taking in all in as advice for the future!Kelseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15158609377041501796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-40696533650594961072007-01-25T10:28:00.000-08:002007-01-25T10:28:00.000-08:00You absolutely have to set a child up for success,...You absolutely have to set a child up for success, and going to a ritzy restaurant doesn't do that. I don't take my children to ritzy restaurants, but I do take them to family restaurants. We all have trouble, but we try to pick booths we know will cause the least trouble for other diners, and from there we do the best we can!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02841767505240383644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-85650048358195706122007-01-25T10:19:00.000-08:002007-01-25T10:19:00.000-08:00Although I don't have a child with sensory issues,...Although I don't have a child with sensory issues, I do have a 3 yr old. Toddlers are so highly impusive and emotional that whatever they are melting down about at the moment is the.end.of.their.world. I hate that I have to feel embarrassed by people like your co-workers relaying the horrors of not 'controlling' said child.<br /><br />I feel really strongly that my children deserve respect, even when they are having a tough time. And I think the fact that the family was compensated in that manner was respectful to both the child (by not just kicking him/her off end of story) and the other passengers. <br /><br />Nina, you make a good point about restaurants. My personal opinion is that kids need to go to restaurants in order to learn how to behave in one. But you don't take an active toddler or child to the Four Seasons if it will only end up as an unenjoyable, tense meal for everyone involved.Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12650990160980367237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2536178837256094246.post-72647776200589297702007-01-25T09:37:00.000-08:002007-01-25T09:37:00.000-08:00I read that article too and it really made me thin...I read that article too and it really made me think. First, it should be said that it wasn't that the child was just throwing a tantrum, it was that she was throwing a tantrum and hiding under the seat - not sitting in her own seat which is of course required for take-off. Her parents couldn't coax her out and she began hitting her mom. The flight had already been 15 minutes delayed and in an effort to be fair to the others on the flight they asked the family to leave the plane. Not only were they given accomodations for the night, a refund, placed on a flight the next day they were also given 3 round trip tickets to use any time. I don't think that is unreasonable. If there were a drunk person on the flight who wouldn't sit down I would want him removed too so that I can get to where I have to go.<br /><br />But as far as moms and their rambunctious kids in everyday life like at the store or the post office - I always feel for the mom. My sister has three kids so I try to think of her in that situation - I wouldn't want people giving her stink eye!<br /><br />My one pet peeve is in restaurants though. I do think that if a child can't sit at a table for the entire course of the meal and be relatively quiet (they shouldn't be there. The parents should think of the other diners and take their kids to a kid friendly place.Ninahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12123227394638117787noreply@blogger.com