Not Feeling All that Hot

So a little over a week ago Sandis was experiencing the icky sickies. Well, since icky sickies require lots of additional mommy hugs and kisses, mommies often retain said icky sickies for themselves a little later on. Ah…Such is life.

So I have this icky throat thing going on, not strep that I’ve heard, but it feels as though my throat is lined with pricklies and sticklers rather than the smooth unfeelingness it normally is. On top of that, I managed to acquire pink eye, which I think has at this point spread from the left eye to the right.

Sigh.

Double Sigh.

I hate being sick. I was blessed this weekend with Bob being at the apartment. He let me sleep and sleep and sleep. And I was not much more than crabby when I was up and around. Feeling terrible, it is my duty to make everyone else feel terrible. Bob also bought some crazy nerf guns (can you say semi-automatic fire?) for himself and the kids, so in my bleary-eyed sick state, every time I ventured out of the bedroom I was assaulted by enemy Velcro darts.

If I hadn’t been so icky sicky it more than likely would have been amusing. As it was, I did all I could to rain on their parade. Sometimes I really hate myself, as sicky is no excuse to be nasty to those I love.

I did manage to make it to work today, but under duress (I have no vacation or sick time, and this does not count as FMLA, thus the duress.) I will later be seeing the doctor so in some senses that is my slim consolation for feeling so icky at work.

As a side note, and a joyous one at that, we had Sandis’s PCA assessment today. A PCA is a personal care assistant that can help with daily functional skills and also can help get your child to and from therapy appointments. Most commercial insurances do not cover PCA services, BUT Medicaid for children and adults with disabilities DOES cover PCA services. And ya know what? Sandis qualifies for PCA services, and the public health nurse would like to get him qualified for 2 hours a day. So that would be a total of 60 hours a month that I could schedule PCA care for my son however it fits our schedule best. I’ve been waiting on this for quite some time, and I still do have a short while before I am actually able to use the PCA services, but we are nearing the finish line.

There is one thing that I have learned throughout all of the trials and changes my family has been through in the past 8 months.

If you do not ask, you will never receive. If you never acknowledge that you need help, you will never acquire the resources to get that help. Appeal to those who can help you, and if they cannot help you, ask them if they know who can!

Highlighting my son’s weaknesses has been hard through all of this, as I have asked for help again and again. I asked for Medicaid. I asked for SSI. I asked for respite care. I asked for PCA services. I asked for help with Sandis’s IEP.

The one constant is I asked for help. I asked again and again and again. There is no shame in not being able to do everything independently. There is no shame in needing help. And there is so much joy and accomplishment you can expect once you receive the help you need, and you see expectations and dreams met and then exceeded.