The Diabetes Spectrum

I have an endocrinologist appointment today. It seems like lately my diabetes has been on auto pilot. I haven’t been doing fabulously but I haven’t been doing stinky either. Just chuggin along…..

I looked up my averages for the past 9 weeks and 141.6 is my low weekly average while 169.3 is the high weekly average. The average of it ALL since January 1 is 154.5, and if my calculations are correct, that should give me an a1c of about 6.5. I’m not holding my breath. Last time it was 6.8 after being in the 7’s (7.2) the time before that, and that was my first time in the 7’s in a long time.

I’m expecting some swings to begin once I start doing the treadmill thing in the mornings. It is always so darn icky what that exercise can do to you, and I know the first month back in it will more than likely not be pretty. I can have a pretty evil post-exercise spike that is entirely unpredictable, so we’ll see how I figure that out, AGAIN.

I met my OC New Me goal, already. I’ve lost ten pounds since January, although I can’t figure out where it went because I feel just as fat. It will be so good to add running back into my life in a way that totally makes sense. Sometimes what we try to fit into our lives fitness wise just doesn’t make sense. I think that is why we fail. I had tried to run outside, but that didn’t make sense to me because first I didn’t feel safe, and second I hate leaving the kids alone in their beds. I tried to do Tae Bo tapes but I wasn’t heeding the fact that I HATE TAE BO and no amount of morning do-it-ness makes me hate it less. But running, I love to run, and now that I can feel safe concerning myself and my kids, it should be fabulous. I wonder if I should watch movies on my computer while I run? Or just listen to music? Or listen to music on my computer’s mix? I should buy a computer with a TV tuner…..But then I would have to buy cable, and I don’t want that…..

Gracie’s blood sugars are ridiculously fabulous since she was raised up to one unit of Lantus. Seeing blood sugars primarily 80 – 130 helps me pretend that she doesn’t have diabetes. She had one 190 and another 245, but they quickly came down, so pretending prevails. I’m not even writing her sugars down because when we go into the doctor they don’t even want to see what I’ve written, they just download sugars from her meter. I don’t have any trends I need to capture before doctor’s visits at this point, and when I do, I certainly won’t use their little book. I will use my own spreadsheet and customize it to her needs. Sometimes I wonder if this is even diabetes or just insulin resistance? And how long can this stage last? There is so much we don’t know about cases like Gracie’s because before glucometers in the home there wasn’t the capabilities to test your child’s blood sugar out of the blue. Am I in the denial stage of grief? Perhaps…..Or perhaps diabetes, too, is a spectrum disorder similar to autism. As in, each person having varying degrees of pancreatic function (C-peptide level?) until they cease to have any pancreatic function at all. (I’m talking type 1’s here people).

Hopefully I will return joyous after my doctor’s appointment this afternoon and post an a1c that I will be preening over. Regardless, diabetes is so little on my mind lately. At least my diabetes. I go through my daily motions that I’ve been doing as long as I can remember. Logging, writing down what I eat and what insulin I take, changing sets, treating lows….It is just the day in day out everyday of my normal life. Diabetes is just normal. And that is pretty okay with me.