Health care is a basic human right, not a privilege. For some reason, we’ve allowed ourselves as Americans to be fooled into accepting that one must be blessed with “means” to actuate appropriate health care. As a nation we have failed to realize that our health care system is a barometer of our society’s value for human life.

-Me

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Lost My Cool

This morning I lost my cool. A little more than lost my cool. More like completely freaked out turned into evil death mom lost my cool.

I’m tired. My sinuses are icky. I have a burn on my arm that morphed over the past few days from just a burn to a case of cellulitis. I’m wiped out.

And Gracie, oh Gracie, my peanut little Gracie would not get dressed this morning. And it seemed the more I yelled, the louder I yelled, the nastier I became….the less inclined she was to do what I wanted.

Frustration mounted, mind spinning, head screaming (me screaming), I completely lost it. Scared the death out of my precious peanut I’m sure. I’m sure a ranting/screaming/raving 28 year old at 5 something in the morning is scary in and of itself. Add to that fact that the ranter/screamer is your mum, well, the scary factor just mounted 3 thousand times.

It turns out, the one thing she responds to, after I screaming/ranting/raving get her dressed myself, is a hug. A long drawn out, teary, I’m so sorry I’m so sorry hug.

And I feel like such a lug now. Such.A.Lug.

I lost my cool this morning, and now I’m trying to find the fortitude within myself to forgive myself for being an idiot.

4 comments:

Michko said...

I think those moments make us better parents. Don't beat yourself up too much.

Anonymous said...

Please take care of the cellulitis. If it's not treated properly it can take a long time to go away. (This is Mn Nice but I couldn't get through on my name.)

cesnh said...

Sarah,
It happens to all of us. Sometimes I just had to take a walk. I know you can't do that but know that you're not the only one who has lost it at times.

BetterCell said...

Kids remember those moments.
It would be best to find a person who you feel comfortable with so as to discuss stresses and frustrations that you are experiencing at times. This would act as a counter against future "outbursts."