Gracie’s been high more often than not lately. Not ridiculously high, but her meter average has gone from around 125 to 144. And for the first time since her diagnosis, the average on my meter (141) is lower than hers.
I remember that first high. It wasn’t that high. It was only 177. But it felt like a slap. It felt as though the ground was jerked from beneath my feet. I never thought that feeling would go away. I never thought I could test, see her close to 200, and not feel like I was dying inside.
But I’m not dying. And she isn’t either. Her insulin needs are going up, but she still doesn’t need short acting insulin. I’m getting more used to seeing numbers that aren’t where they are supposed to be. I’m not as scared of starting short acting as I was when this all started.
I know that diabetes doesn’t detract from her. I know that diabetes doesn’t define her. I know that diabetes is just that daily thing we do.
And that’s okay.
Just okay with a higher average.
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2 comments:
Absolutely.
Well said, Sarah.
Thinking of your little girl. And of you.
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