Partners in PolicyMaking, Weekend One

I came to the realization, at some point this morning, that I have chosen to be a part of a monumentally huge and time-consuming endeavor. I have chosen this.

The sheer volume of paperwork we are expected to rifle through in the next month is madness in and of itself. The community work and the personal steps we are expected to take in the next several months is more madness (how can one person do so much?). The expectations of graduates after this 9-month mania is even more madness.

I did not expect what I committed myself to. I did not expect that this will be what it is.

And you know what? I can't imagine immersing myelf in something that is more related to my life, my passions, my joys, my fears, and my values than what Partners in Policymaking is teaching. I never imagined that giving so much, knowing that I am going to give more than I ever have before, would be exactly what this old soul needs.

Enough about me. In my class, I met some amazing parents. And even cooler (sorry parents), I met some amazing adults who themselves live with developmental disabilities. I saw what could be my son's future, my daughter's future. I discovered a new direction that I never realized was important before, and really now I wonder how the concept escaped me. This elusive concept? Self-Advocacy. Not so elusive at all eh?

I don't believe I can adequately express my feelings right now. I'm struggling with sitting as I over-extended myself this weekend in my two-week post back surgery state. For now I will rest, and later, perhaps I will gather my thoughts enough to compose a post that is more focused and composed in regards to this weekend.

In final, I have to say....I may not be one for that whole fate thing, or having a certain calling....But never have things felt more right and more in keeping with my spirit, my talents, my joys, my fears, my everything than this weekend felt. The feeling in regards to this is so powerful that I'd like to say it shakes my very soul, but as that may be more of a cliche than an accurate description, perhaps I shall only say that tears have been welling in my eyes for close to two days now. I'm not quite sure if they are tears of joy, sorrow, entitlement, finality.....But things feel different. And I am quite certain that this, this Partners thing, is going to change my life.....

And I'm going to make sure that I'm not the only life it changes.....