My Adventures in Food - The last two weeks revisited

Man oh man have I eaten some good food these past couple of weeks! I'd like to try to get up a post about food every week, but with illness being my fond friend these past few weeks, I've run a bit behind. But I have been taking pictures! I've also discovered an awesome snack food that doesn't cause my blood sugars to reach for the stars. Over the past couple of weeks I have been taking my symlin less and less. I find that if my blood sugar is under 100 that it will tend to cause a low, and more and more symlin is my partner for breakfast only. It just seems to me like there are instances where symlin really is necessary to help achieve the more normal sugars I like, but that in most instances, I eat fairly appropriate carbs for my body and my digestion is slow enough that I'm not really needing the symlin like I thought I would.

This awesome snack food I found is soy chips. I know it sounds pretty gross, and at 4 bucks a bag, this stuff it NOT cheap! It also isn't low calorie at about 150 cals for 20 chips. Damn! is it tasty though! It runs at about 5 grams of carbs per serving and is seasoned really tastily. I encourage you to give it a try if your pocketbook can absorb the expense, as this is sure to be something you'll want to buy again.


As I've been using symlin less and less, I've noticed some things about my digestive patterns. I digest food much faster in the morning, and much much slower in the evening. That means I can safely eat some higher glycemic index foods at night without shooting for the moon with my sugars. The problem is, though, eventually this food does digest, and I'm looking at around 3 to 4 hours after I eat my dinner or snack, I'm having a high blood sugar (but not as high as it would be in the morning with the same meal!). That means that although I like the carbs, I've been trying to cut those back at night for snacks and dinner as well. For dinner I've tried things like pork w/ bbq sauce. This bbq sauce is an organic blend I bought from the coop, I really don't know the name of it, but it is limited in the amount of sugars in it so it isn't like eating candy on your meat. Fairly tasty. I also have pictured the Men's Bread I so love, which is 5 g. of carbs per slice (and like 7 grams of fiber!) Makes for a tasty meal!

I've been doing pretty good with managing that later spike with my dinners, but for snacks I've had to ditch my lovely oatmeal and heavy carb laden snacks so I've been trying stuff like this ezekiel 4:9 tortilla with scrambled eggs that are mixed with cottage cheese. Low carb, and doesn't spike my blood sugars quite as bad later at night when everything catches up to me. Keeps me regular too! You probably don't need to know that though! Good thing about these Ezekiel 4:9 products is that they are flour free, very low in carbs, and are absorbed slowly and consistently by your body. This makes for an easy slow change in blood sugars!



Lastly, I made some cookies. Because I LOVE cookies! These are five grain cookies sweetened not with sugar but with pure maple syrup (best thing ever!) and lots of cinnamon....So tasty!

I'm Not Very Healthy

That is what a coworker said to me the other day. It is hard to explain the frustrations and anger her saying this invoked.

I know I have been sick a lot lately. First the bronchitis, then the kidney infection, then my icky opportunistic fathead cold. I know that every year I seem to pick up a few illnesses here and there. One day her and I were joking that we could categorize each month of the year by my illnesses and injuries. There was the month that my blister morphed into cellulitis. There was the sacral iliac joint sprain. There was the OTHER kidney infection. There was the month and a half I spent in fear after my first breast biopsy where the doctor had told me at the outset that she believed it may be malignant. There was the cervical biopsy (several of them) to examine pre-cancerous tissue in my cervix to help determine what route we needed to take with that. Let's not even MENTION the knee injury.....This is all within the past YEAR, and I haven't even mentioned the bouts with the flu and occasional sinus infection! I know why she would say I'm not healthy. I know why other people would think that. But it just makes me sad.....

I eat better and I make more informed choices about what I eat than most people I know. I understand nutrition and how the body metabolically works better than most people I know. If someone in the office has a question concerning nutrition or exercise, my cubicle is a likely stop for quick info. I work really really hard to be as healthy as I possibly can be, but somehow I have failed.

Have I failed? Am I just predisposed to illnesses because of my diabetes? I know I'm not predisposed to sacral iliac joint sprains because of my diabetes! What about my cancer scares? The frequent cancer scares? Why do I have so many lumps, bumps, and moles that freak doctors (AND ME!) out? What should I follow up on? What should I ignore? Am I sicker than most other people? Or am I just more in tune with what is going on with my body? Or do I just see doctors a lot more and have more chances for them to be concerned than other people?

Do I need to change my perspective? Aside from all my illnesses and injuries in the past year, I have also run about 300 miles per quarter (give or take, some quarters are much more, some or much less), which translates into approximatley 1,200 miles run in the past year. HOLY SHIT! Okay, I'm feeling a little better. In lieu of all my injuries and illnesses, I've also worked two jobs, maintained a household and a relationship, started one child in school and got another potty trained (with Bob's help of course). I also learned to cook more than one meal, and I can guarantee that I can tastefully cook any fish in about 15 minutes. I have spent countless hours learning to maintain the nutritional health of my family and I have watched in joy and wonder as my children jumped for joy to have a treat.....of GRAPES AND YOGURT!

I suppose in the past year of illness and injury, while challening in their number and frequency, I have also accomplished quite a bit. How can I feel so physically impaired at times, but still have the energy and wherewithall to push through and still accomplish wonderful things in my life and my family's life? I read a comment on one blog about how perhaps how we feel about our diabetes is all in our perspective. I think that goes for a lot of things, not just our diabetes. Our perspective is going to define what we are capable of accomplishing. I may be challeneged by an array of illnesses and injuries, but despite the numerous copays and doctor's appointments, I manage to live a pretty damn fulfilling and awesome life!

A little more about me

I've resisted but I've never been good at bucking peer pressure, so here ya go!

1. Do you still have tonsils?
Yep, and I'm reminded of that fact at least once a year.

2. Would you bungee jump?
Absolutely not. I went to a water park once that has those near vertical slides. I was scared to DEATH to go down this thing, but did anyway. I was so terrified I almost passed out going down it. Once I got to the bottom, my bathing suit bottom was now my bathing suit top, and my top, where did that go?

3. If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be?
Something that requires very, very little time and whose pay is inversely proportionate to the amount I time I spend working

4. How many tattoos do you have?
one, a homemade DK (for dead kennedy's) on my right upper arm. It really doesn't count though, most people assume it is pen on my arm. Red pen.


5. Your favorite fictional animal?
haha, a Liger

6. One person that never fails to make you laugh?
Bob!

7. Do you consider yourself well organized?
I am anal and organized to the point of despair for everyone close to me. My organization needs a techo-tweak though, I write everything down on paper. You should see my budget....seriously......it's very organized but the notebook thing is almost embarrassing

8. Any Addictions?
I've actually been to chemical dependency treatment for fentanyl and benzodiazepines. Maybe some day I will elaborate more on that.

9. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
News? What the hell is news? I'm completely out of the loop on this one.

10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus?
Neither, please take my ticket. I'd much rather stay in and read. Or sleep. Or run. Anything.

11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Either an Engineer or a Lawyer. That worked out well.

12. Best Movie You've Seen This Year?
Lil' Miss Sunshine, it was hilarious.

13.Favorite alcoholic drink
A glass of dry red wine

14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Wake up my kids.

15. Siblings?
I have two older sisters, one is 33, the other is 32. I have a younger step-sister who is um, younger than me. I have a half-sister who is seven, and I have a half-brother who is five. That means my son has an uncle that is YOUNGER than him.

16. What is the best thing about your job?
I write for a living! haha, just kidding, I mean, I do write for a living, but it is technical writing so it really doesn't count. I draw for a living, too. It is extremely low key, no pressure, punch in, punch out, work 40 hours or 10 hours of overtime we don't care kind of job. It is great.

17. Have you ever gone to therapy?
um, ya, I was forced to and I hated every stinkin minute of it.

18. If you could have one super power what would it be?
I don't want any super powers, but i wouldn't mind having an unlimited supply of patience, and a little more of tolerance and understanding. Things I feel I lack when times feel too busy or stressful.

19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
nope, I don't even know what ikea is.

20. Have you ever gone camping?
of course I've gone camping! What is wrong with you?

21. Gas prices! First thought?
This whole thing pisses me off.

22. Your favorite cartoon character?
Um, I really don't think I have one.

23. What was your first car?
1987 Plymouth Sundance 2dr with Turbo

24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
I would love to be married. BOB? DID YOU READ THIS???!!! haha, not too subtle I know.

25. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
neither, Im so tired of tv, charter pisses me off, it has ruined tv FOREVER.

26. Do you go to church?
I should, but I haven't this year....I'm so ashamed.....I'm a pastor's daughter too...

27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Jesus

28. What errand/chore do you despise?
I HATE GOING TO WALMART

29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
damn

30. Last time you puked from drinking?
I dont even remember, a long time ago

31. What is your heritage?
Polish and Norwegian

32. Favorite flower?
I don't have one.

33. Disney or Warner Bros?
I don't like either

34. What is your best childhood memory?
I have a funny childhood memory, when I was walking with my dad at the golf course across the street from my Grandma's he starts gagging and spitting. I asked him what was wrong and he says " I just swallowed a JUNE BUG!" I didn't know what a june bug was then. We were visiting Minnesota but we lived in Santa Fe, NM. I learned much later in life, and I laughed and laughed and laughed at his expense.

35. Your favorite potato chip?
I like soy chips. Im not much on potato anything.

36. What is your favorite candy?
I love cookies.

37. Do you burn or tan?
I burn, then peel, then freckle

38. Astrological sign?
Leo

39. Do you own a gun?
Of course I don't.

40. What do you think of hot dogs?
Ick.

My Blood Sugars Have Been Terrible!

My blood sugars have been terrible. Take a glance at yesterday’s numbers. ICK. It seems as though the only in-range number I have is um, ONE. I also forgot to put new test strips in my bag, so I actually ran out of strips at work. I have REALLY been trying with my blood sugars lately, but honestly, when I am sick I just care less and less as what I do affects less and less.

I picked up an opportunistic cold while down with my kidney infection. The past month has been really rough concerning illnesses and the close relationship I’m having with them. I’ve really been working on my intimacy factors with augmentin and most recently levaquin. Excuse me while I hack ……..

Unfortunately those wonderful drugs will help my ailing lungs and kidney inflammation, but they know buggerboo about how to kick the common cold. In the mean time, I’m spending more time high than I have since college (more than likely in two different senses of the word!).

I also haven’t exercised much this week. I KNOW that I am sick and skipping the intense exercise routine Sunday through Thursday this week is totally acceptable, but damn……I HATE being sick….

Lil' Swimmers and Pull Ups are NOT Created Equal!

Just in case you are ever tempted to try swapping the two out, it isn't worth it!

I ran out of pull-ups for Gracie for nights about a week ago. I, not wanting to mess up that weeks budget with an additional unexpected eight dollar expense, decided to use my remaining Lil' Swimmers to do the job instead. BAD IDEA!

Apparently, these things do fairly well with holding stool inside the diaper, but urine, not so good. In fact, it is just like they wet their pants when they pee in these things. The pee just goes straight through. How does that make you feel about swimming with all those babies eh? Does it make ya think twice?

Gracie woke me up in the middle of the night last night with "Mom! I'm all wet!" Sure enough, she was all wet. I guess that explains that nasty butt rash that popped up in the past couple of days!

Lesson Learned: Don't ever use Lil' Swimmers instead of Pull Ups!

The Relationship I Pay for.....My Doctor and Me!

What do you expect from your doctor? How do you expect that relationship to intertwine with and affect your diabetes? What do you expect from your doctor's nurses, diabetes educators, and nutritionists? Do you have a clear idea of what you expect? Do THEY have a clear idea of your expectations? How do you communicate your needs to your endocrine team? How do they communicate their needs to you? Overall, are you getting what you are PAYING FOR?

I expect my doctor and her team to help me reach my goals as they pertain to diabetes. I expect to have open lines of communication, as needed, with their entire team. I expect to deal with one person in diabetes education CONSISTENTLY. How do I achieve this? Is it even POSSIBLE?

Sometimes I feel like it isn't. I've been my own personal diabetes care manager for over fifteen years now, and sometimes, it just seems like those lines of communication get crossed. First off, when I started at this, it didn't feel like there were ANY real lines of communication at all. I went into the doctor, they told me my a1c results from 3 months ago, they reviewed what sugars I had managed to jot down, sent me off for blood work, and that was that. I felt as though they had done me a favor to honor me with their assistance in helping me manage my diabetes. I did not view their care as a service I was paying for. I did not know and understand that as a patient with a chronic condition, I really am my one and only patient advocate and only I can ensure that I get my questions concerning my condition answered adequately. Then again, at that time I was only 13, and boy did I have a lot to learn!

I believe that the first step towards getting what you need from your endocrine team is clearly understanding what it is you want and need from them yourself. How do you do that? I made a list. I wrote down everything I wanted, needed, and expected from my endocrine team. What sort of things were on that list? I want reasonable flexibility with appointments. Any working human would want this! I wanted an actual TEAM of medical folk to work on my case. That means I want an endocrinologist, a diabetes educator who works specifically with that doctor, a general nurse that works specifically with my doctor, and a nutritionist who works specifically with that doctor. I wanted all of these people appointed to my care, and I wanted their NAMES and their PHONE NUMBERS. If possible, I wanted their EMAIL ADDRESSES. I wanted to have clear goals written up that were designed to help me overcome each of my difficulties with my diabetes. I wanted to work with ONE doctor, ONE nurse, ONE nutritionist, and ONE diabetes educator. If she is not available, unless I'm dying, I will WAIT until she IS available. I cannot STAND working with three different people in three different weeks. How can they effectively help me and the complexity of a pump, basals, exercise, etc...if I work with a different person weekly?

Once I clearly understood what I wanted, I needed to find a way to communicate with my endocrine team. I took that list that I made, and I took it one step further. I outlined very clearly (almost like a job description) exactly what I expected from each one of them. I then took the time, either on the phone or in the doctor's office, to talk to each person on my team to find out what I would need to do to achieve those expectations. I think it is CRITICAL to tell your team what you need from them, because if you don't, they are on cookie cutter overdrive, and what they give to ten other people that day who all have completely different quirks in their care and diabetes, they will give to you. It meets the in and out standards of today's health care, but does it really provide you with what you need? This also opens up the doors of communication. I know that sounds cliche, but if you tell your doctor/CDE/nurse your expectations of them and you don't know how to best work with them to meet those expectations, you really aren't working as a team. They are very busy, you are very busy. Pull all of your resources together and find the best way to get things done. When I sat down with my CDE recently, I discussed how FRUSTRATED I was that I always had to work with a different CDE at the office and how that doesn't meet my needs. In this conversation we worked out how to communicate to the entire office how I deal only with her, but something else came out. She told me that the charts and logs I kept made it very hard for her to look at them and see trends. We talked about a few different ways that I could present information to her, and I incorporated that into what I currently do. Sitting down with her to discuss my needs in my treatment allowed her to tell me what she needed from me. We both benefitted and left knowing that we were making the other person's job easier AND we were improving my care.

The next part of this is making sure I get my questions answered when I actually go and see the doctor! I visit my doctor once every 12 weeks. Inbetween my visits, I don't talk to her. She doesn't even look at my sugars! My CDE is actually the person who reviews my sugars and helps suggest changes. There are some questions though, that my CDE just can't answer. For these questions I make a list (another list I know!). I carry this list around with me in my purse (I know about all of your diabetic bags, EVERYONE has some kind of purse, even the boys, but they call them backpacks I think!), and whenever I think of something I jot it down before I forget. In the nights before I go into the doctor, I write up a synopsis of my care in the past 12 weeks, information on basals and boluses, and how they work with the symlin and with exercise, any illnesses I've had in the previous 12 weeks, any dietary changes, any new diagnoses, and any new meds (among anything else I can think of.) At the end of this I list all of my questions. I print this out for myself, I print one for my doctor, and then I FAX one to my doctor a few days before my appointment. Sound crazy? I don't think so! I want my doctor to be thinking about me before I come in. I want my doctor to review this and be READY for me, so that we can spend the time I have at her clinic talking about the problems I have and possible solutions, rather than her scrambling to look over my sugars while she is sitting next to me.

The last thing I do to address reaching my goals in diabetes is actually writing down what my goals are. I think, that just like any goal, this needs to be done. I don't make myself hard diabetes goals, just little ones I feel like I can achieve with the help of my doctor and her team. I may make a nutrition goal combined with a basal/bolus goal, or even an a1c goal. My last set of goals were:
1. Eliminate most of my daytime and evening lows.
2. Test afternoon and evening basals to help control evening highs.
I actually wrote up these goals with my doctor and then after we agreed that those were appropriate goals that addressed the most pressing issues I was having, I faxed one to my nutritionist and one to my CDE. I even provided one to my doctor.

Even with all of this extra time put into organizing my care with my endocrine team, there are still times when I am not happy with my care. At this point, I have decided to try a new endocrine team, because I feel as though my current endocrinologist is not going to help me realize my goal to have a CGMS system. I believe that we NEED to be assertive in helping to realize our own care goals. If you suspect you aren't getting what you need from your team, then I guarantee you AREN'T. Never forget that this is a relationship, meaning that information is going from you to your doctor and back to you. Your doctor's help means NOTHING if it does not take into account the information you provide to them, or if they do not have an effective way to communicate with you. Finding a way to work with your team that helps them and helps you is a hard thing! I believe that health care today is not treated as a consumer industry, but it needs to be! If you aren't getting what you need after consistently attempting to increase communication and get your needs addressed, GO TO A DIFFERENT DOCTOR! FIND A DIFFERENT TEAM! We only get one life to get the best care we can, don't lose your one chance!

Learning to Read (and other Childhood Endeavors)....

Do you remember learning to read? Do you remember it being difficult, challenging, confusing? It seems to me, that at age 28, I have forgotten the intricasies involved in learning to read. I mean, it makes sense that it would be hard. First you have to learn all of these letters. Then you have to learn that each letter actually represents a sound. And not only does each letter represent a sound, some letters sound the same, and some really don't have a definitive sound at all. AAACCCKKKK! Then you add into all of it the complexity of a word. A word is made up of all these sounds which are represented by letters but the word, in and of itself, represents something entirely different. Mind boggling! (Hats off to all teachers who teach our children how to read, I don't know how you do it!)

Anyhow, my six year old is in kidnergarten and learning how to read. He struggles with it. We work on it EVERY DAY. We work on sounds and sight words and "sounding it out" and it is REALLY STINKING HARD. And you know what? I don't remember it ever being this hard. Is it because I have just forgotten how hard it is? Or was it just easier for me than it is for my son? I don't know the answer to that question! But I am living (re-living and living for the first time) the difficulties of learning to read, all over again!


My daughter spent a long time in the heights of her bunk bed for slamming the door today. She is so full of unleashed energy at times, I wonder where she gets it from? She certainly is unbridled in her excitement and passions!

I have a kidney infection. It seems as though whenever I am sick, the only things I can stomach to eat are sweet sweet carbs delicious simple white carbs. Today I ate 3 cookies and an ice cream bar. My blood sugars have been very reactive. I woke up this morning at like 274. I felt TERRIBLE. I knew at this time that the terrible pain in my back was more than likely a bit more than a muscle pull.

Does anyone else freak out if anything is going on with their kidney? I have anaphylactic allergic reactions to -iprol medications, so I know that once I start spilling protein, I won't have that medication option. That scares me. It also scares me because I know I have extensive scarring on my right kidney and ureter from when my appendix burst. Kidney pain is rather scary to me.

The doctor today at urgent care sat down with me and went over my lab results. My protein and creatinine levels are right on, right in target range, not too high and not too low, right in the middle. That lended me some relief, but I am still worried about my kidney. My previous problems with my kidney I had so much pain and never had infection, and I wonder if I somehow have developed a ureter stricture because of the scarring on my ureter. I guess I have a lot on my mind.....

I "remember" the implications of complications at times like these. Times when I'm not well enough to do the things I want to do. Times when I can't look inside and verify on my own that everything is a-ok. I guess it is times like these where I really need to put my trust in God, because at this point, there isnt too much I can do about it!