I'm Not Very Healthy

That is what a coworker said to me the other day. It is hard to explain the frustrations and anger her saying this invoked.

I know I have been sick a lot lately. First the bronchitis, then the kidney infection, then my icky opportunistic fathead cold. I know that every year I seem to pick up a few illnesses here and there. One day her and I were joking that we could categorize each month of the year by my illnesses and injuries. There was the month that my blister morphed into cellulitis. There was the sacral iliac joint sprain. There was the OTHER kidney infection. There was the month and a half I spent in fear after my first breast biopsy where the doctor had told me at the outset that she believed it may be malignant. There was the cervical biopsy (several of them) to examine pre-cancerous tissue in my cervix to help determine what route we needed to take with that. Let's not even MENTION the knee injury.....This is all within the past YEAR, and I haven't even mentioned the bouts with the flu and occasional sinus infection! I know why she would say I'm not healthy. I know why other people would think that. But it just makes me sad.....

I eat better and I make more informed choices about what I eat than most people I know. I understand nutrition and how the body metabolically works better than most people I know. If someone in the office has a question concerning nutrition or exercise, my cubicle is a likely stop for quick info. I work really really hard to be as healthy as I possibly can be, but somehow I have failed.

Have I failed? Am I just predisposed to illnesses because of my diabetes? I know I'm not predisposed to sacral iliac joint sprains because of my diabetes! What about my cancer scares? The frequent cancer scares? Why do I have so many lumps, bumps, and moles that freak doctors (AND ME!) out? What should I follow up on? What should I ignore? Am I sicker than most other people? Or am I just more in tune with what is going on with my body? Or do I just see doctors a lot more and have more chances for them to be concerned than other people?

Do I need to change my perspective? Aside from all my illnesses and injuries in the past year, I have also run about 300 miles per quarter (give or take, some quarters are much more, some or much less), which translates into approximatley 1,200 miles run in the past year. HOLY SHIT! Okay, I'm feeling a little better. In lieu of all my injuries and illnesses, I've also worked two jobs, maintained a household and a relationship, started one child in school and got another potty trained (with Bob's help of course). I also learned to cook more than one meal, and I can guarantee that I can tastefully cook any fish in about 15 minutes. I have spent countless hours learning to maintain the nutritional health of my family and I have watched in joy and wonder as my children jumped for joy to have a treat.....of GRAPES AND YOGURT!

I suppose in the past year of illness and injury, while challening in their number and frequency, I have also accomplished quite a bit. How can I feel so physically impaired at times, but still have the energy and wherewithall to push through and still accomplish wonderful things in my life and my family's life? I read a comment on one blog about how perhaps how we feel about our diabetes is all in our perspective. I think that goes for a lot of things, not just our diabetes. Our perspective is going to define what we are capable of accomplishing. I may be challeneged by an array of illnesses and injuries, but despite the numerous copays and doctor's appointments, I manage to live a pretty damn fulfilling and awesome life!