Health care is a basic human right, not a privilege. For some reason, we’ve allowed ourselves as Americans to be fooled into accepting that one must be blessed with “means” to actuate appropriate health care. As a nation we have failed to realize that our health care system is a barometer of our society’s value for human life.

-Me

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Bullying

I just don’t get it. Really I don’t. I imagine what goes through a bully’s mind, and well, I can’t even imagine it. Perhaps, even, the things I imagine going through their mind are just too terrible to conceive of a child thinking. Or perhaps, with my 28 years of maturity (or lack of), I just can’t imagine dealing with emotions at a nine or ten year old’s level. I just don’t get how, no matter who you are or how stressed you are, beating up on a little boy who is younger than you is going to calm the storms in your mind, be they small brewing storms or large destructive storms. I just don’t get it.

Right now I am having problems with bullying. More pointedly, my son is being bullied.

He is being bullied at the bus stop. (Before School)

He is being bullied in the bathrooms and on the playground. (During School)

He is being bullied at Kid Stop. (After School)

On Monday morning, my son didn’t want to go to school. Well no freakin wonder, I wouldn’t want to go to school either if I was being physically and emotionally abused before, during, and after school. It sucks. No way man, I’m sick, I think I will stay home. This SUCKS.

Yesterday, my son came home with a black eye. Granted, it isn’t the biggest or nastiest or most swollen black eye in history, but it is definitely there. There was no note and no phone call to accompany this black eye. Nothing.

It turns out that an older kid at Kid Stop pushed Sandis into the mirror in the bathroom. Sandis doesn’t know who he is, but he rarely knows other children’s names anyhow, even if he considers them his friend. He didn’t tell anyone about it, either. I didn’t notice until later that evening, when I got close enough and done enough with chores to really focus on him. Imagine my surprise when I realize his left eye is all swollen, lined red, and has some bruising underneath. It just sucks, not just for him, but for me too. It sucks for me because I can’t imagine, or I CAN imagine what being hit/pushed/kicked at school on any type of regular basis feels like.

I bet it makes him feel worthless. I bet it makes him feel unimportant. I bet it makes him wonder what is wrong with him. There is a whole range of feelings I bet he feels, and it makes me sad that he has even had an opportunity to feel this way.

I know how awesome my son is, and I know that these kids who are doing this don’t have the ability, for whatever reason, to get to know him well enough to know how awesome he is. I know that there is nothing wrong with my son, and that no matter what anyone says or does, no one ever deserves to get hit, kicked, or pushed. I know that, and I hope Sandis listens when I tell him how important and wonderful he is.

I get to spend yet another day calling social workers, school affiliates, etc…..And I shouldn’t have to do this. Because, you know what? This sort of thing just shouldn’t even be an issue, EVER. It’s a shame it has to be.

6 comments:

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

oops that was me . I goofed up writing the reply so here it goes again


I hate bully's . I been through alot of that crap when I was in School. Getting pushed into lockers,getting tackled when i was getting of the school bus, pushed down flights of stairs. It makes me Mad to hear stories like this but the school or teachers wont get involved until something really bad happens or you being like my parents threating to sue

Scott said...

How very frustrating!

And talk about making you feel helpless and vulnerable. Oy.

What to do?

I find it really hard to get the story from my kids when something they don't want to deal with happens. Then it's tough to figure out how to approach it even once you have the full scoop.

Bernard said...

MileMasterSarah

I wish had some solid advice to help you with the situation.

My heart goes out to both you and Sandis.

Penny said...

Sarah,
I'm so sorry. This just breaks my heart. No kid should ever have to go through this.
What is so bad is that the adults at school seem to not notice or care when things like this happen to kids.

Cecilia Jamasmie said...

Dear Sarah,

I am the Associate Editor for Orato.com, a citizen journalism news Web site based in Vancouver, Canada. We aim to put a human face on the news by showcasing vivid, first-person stories from individuals involved in current events.

I found your blog while I was doing some research to find a teenager who could give us the inside story of what’s it like to be bullied. The vicious attack on a teenage girl in North Babylon, New York, that was candidly posted on YouTube and subsequently broadcast on television across the nation, has made us realized the importance of giving them the right to speak up.

Everybody has the right to live their lives without feeling bullied, threatened or unsafe. That's why I think it's very important that your son (we can use another name, not to worry) tells his story so more kids feel empower to do this same.

I encourage you to post your story on our site or, even better, contact me at assistanteditor AT orato.com