Classroom Observation

One thing that I have decided to fit into my schedule every month, for at least two hours at a time, is classroom observation. Helping my son at school and helping the school help my son is a huge deal to me. I hope that by observing my son in his classroom, I will get a better feel of what he is encountering during the day. I hope seeing the situation and environment he is in first hand will help me to understand what the school and teacher recommend and enact as aides to him. I hope that experiencing his classroom will help me to come up with my own ideas that fit within his day to help make day to day activities run that much more smoothly for him. I want to make a difference in my son’s education, and I really hope this will be a key part of me understanding and effectively assisting him with it.

I volunteered today in Sandis’s classroom for their “Friendship Feast.” Holey smokes man, if you have never spent a couple of hours first thing in the morning (before breakfast) hanging out and helping to direct 20 some kindergartners, I don’t recommend it! That being said, it was really fabulous. The kids were sweet. I was there from the start of the day, and I actually got to sit down with Sandis as he ate breakfast. He pointed out a boy in the lunchroom during breakfast who apparently picks on him. Sandis got to show me around HIS town, and I think he enjoyed it.

This was my opportunity to see Sandis interact in the classroom. This was my first time in the classroom not only to volunteer, but to see Sandis in action. I have to say, there were moments where I wanted to walk out, take to a corner, and cry. It was painfully obvious in a few instances just how different Sandis is from the other kids, and how ostracized he can be in these instances by the class. There were other times, though, where he blended in and was just another kid. I let those times calm my heart.

I never wanted Sandis to be different. I think that my desire to have him be just like everyone else really blinded me to what was really going on with Sandis’s development. No one ever wants their child to be the one with the developmental delay or problems. It isn’t something we wish for with child still in utero, marveling over baby kicks in mommy’s ribs. Accepting this difference in Sandis is very hard. I know it will bring him pain in his future. I know that there is more burden on me to protect him from that. Sometimes that burden is very heavy.

The thing is though, I didn’t wish for this, but I’m not sure I’d change it. My son is fabulously quirky. He smiles often. My son could not conceive of bullying another child, he does not have a mean bone in him (just don’t ask his sister about this!) My son has focus that exceeds most others abilities when it comes to things that interest him. My son started running when he started walking, and he has never stopped. He will never stop! My son is a blessing of insights and joys that I would not have if he were not exactly as he is. My son is not a mistake, he is a gift from God exactly as he is supposed to be.

I will be in Sandis’s classroom next month, and I imagine it might be hard again. I hope it will get easier. I kow though, that he needs me there, and I need to be there to see him. Seeing my son’s differences makes it easier to go through all that red tape the education system puts down in front of his IEP. Seeing my son’s differences makes me appreciate them that much more.

On a final note, the other night I asked Sandis: “Did you pick mommy? Or did mommy pick you?”
Sandis without hesitation says: “ You picked me mommy! Silly!”

And you know what? He’s so right. I did pick him. I would pick him again. And again. And again. He is mine and I am his and we belong together.