I don’t have a whole heck of a lot going on today, other than work and laundry. Maybe I can get by without doing the laundry? Probably not….
It is nice to know that I will not be running around the world and back today, but it might feel like it a little, because I still have to make dinner. I’m pretty tired, I wish we could just have like cookies or something for dinner. Work today I have been able to focus on “working” rather than on my next phone call either scheduling a therapy evaluation or talking to a social worker. I finally feel like I am not going to come unglued. I finally don’t have the sneaking suspicion that someone is trying to unglue me. Life is evening out.
Sigh.
This is okay, now if only I could wake up! I have abandoned my no diet soda idea I had and practiced for so long, and I really need to get back on the tea wagon. My hydration is suffering! I woke up a little early today and while the kids ate breakfast, I drank a cup of coffee that I brewed myself (with the aid of a coffee maker.) It was nice to sit and talk with my children this morning. I need to wake up early every morning. That would help my rushed, crabby, yelling normal morning routine.
You know that reality shift I was talking about a few days ago? I think I am settling into it now. My daughter told me after her shot last night, “That didn’t even hurt Mom!” Woohooo for small victories eh? I asked her what having diabetes means, and she said “It means I have to be poked.” Ya well, we’ll work on that one, but for now, that really is what diabetes means to her. Her blood sugars have been doing really well, which is calming for my soul. For a few days they were running 130-150 and my heart was doing baby jumps and dives every time I checked her blood sugar, hoping that they weren’t moving on up. They’ve evened out these past few days though and aren’t going over 130, which is relieving, because the full reality of a type 1 three year old is not something I feel ready to jump into. I probably never will be ready though!
I found a local Autism Parent Support Group at the Saint Cloud YMCA that has FREE! Babysitting so I am going to go to that, tomorrow. I can’t get there fast enough. The caregiver community for autistic children has been wonderful and has not skipped a beat in embracing one of their newest members. There are all sorts of programs for caregivers of developmentally disabled children, so I feel like a path has been made for me. It is a little bit different for parents of type 1 kids. There are programs that help parents find respite care for their autistic child, but respite care for their type 1 diabetic child is not available. I can imagine that finding a babysitter (qualified babysitter) to watch a type 1 diabetic three year old is just as hard to find (if not harder) than a six year old with PDD. I’m waiting for some info from JDRF and I’m contacting my local diabetes office and “hoping” to meet some other parents of type 1 children. Maybe we can all help eachother if our needs fit and we can reciprocate help?
Overall, things are just doing much better and I am feeling much more suited to the task at hand. I think that God paired my beautiful son and my beautiful daughter with me specifically for a reason. It is easy for me to understand, perhaps, why my daughter would do so well with me, but I have more trouble understanding why I was chosen to be the sole provider for a little boy with Sandis’s specific needs. Why was I chosen to be the best person for him, and why was he chosen as the best person for me? I guess I need to trust in God that I have what it takes, and if I don’t, I will take the time to ask God for his help. I am truly blessed with my children, and I have learned SO MUCH in the past few weeks. I couldn’t have asked for more.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Sarah,
Whenever I read your posts, I still can't get my mind wrapped around how quickly all this has hit you in such a short period of time.
I'm encouraged to see you keeping your chin up.
Keep up the good work. Your kids are lucky to have a mom who loves them like you do.
Melissa,
Thank you for reading! It is overwhelming and it all did happen so fast. I’ve thought this through over and over again, and what I keep thinking about is that with my son, his diagnosis was a relief. I finally had a doorway, a window, a hole to crawl through to help dealing with my son and help him deal with the world. I felt relief, and I was filled with hope that things just might get easier. (haha! Easier!) I was also very overwhelmed with the scope of things I now had to do and start doing and continue doing, but that has eased some as I’ve learned the ropes more and more. My daughter’s diagnosis was the opposite. Her diagnosis just sunk my world. My tiny little peanut….Fathoming her with diabetes just makes my brain hurt. This has gotten easier, and with her blood sugars remaining stable with very little insulin, I have been given the precious commodity of time in my acceptance of this disease in my peanut Gracie. My son has not changed, he is still fabulous and fun (and he tests me every moment I spend with him!) and although my daughter now is much more accustomed to pokes, she is still the same little peanut (and she still loves shoes!).
Glad to hear you're doing well, Sarah. Some days are better than others, and they always come.
Sarah, I am so glad to hear about today being good for you.
Here's to stringing together a few good ones...but one at a time, right?
Cheers!
J.B.
Sarah! What a wonderful idea! A group of people familiar with type 1 diabetes that offers babysitting for type 1 children! Fantastic!
I think you should do something with that idea...
Post a Comment