6.8

So my endocrinology appointment today (at my doctor's in Saint Cloud) was just basically a big fat mountain of stress. I was eyeing the paperwork that the nurse had before my doctor came in to see me and was SHOCKED by an 8.6 a1c and was brought to tears as I came to terms with the fact that my a1c had jumped from 7.2 (last time's numbers, an increase even there) a full 1.4 points to 8.6. I was more than mildly surprised when my doctor told me that it was actually 6.8! So there was my lesson to not try and read the lab work results sideways and upside down!


On a good note, Gracie's blood sugars today have been wonderfully normal with a 105 fasting and a 119 2 hour PP. I am going to test tonight while she is asleep, as that worked fairly well last night, and that was when she was her highest yesterday after a full day of normal yesterday.

Gracie also had an MRI today, requiring sedation, which also thankfully was normal, although the entire day was fairly hard on the mums, what with IVs in my three year old and plenty of places for her to sleep but recliners although comfy aren't conducive to a midday nap for me (plus I was without sedation!)I do realize that was a mighty runon sentence as well!

I was fully unprepared for this endocrinologist appointment, and was not handling having my kids there very well. Gracie was dopey, and moody, from the earlier day's sedation. Sandis was, as he normally is, unresponsive to social etiquette and the people around him other than to further his rather lively play (meaning get out of my way mom and I want to climb on EVERYTHING and push my sister around and make her scream since she is rather moody!) Normally I can deal with all of this, but I just was super tired and was up to EYEBALLS in every other issue but MY diabetes. I didn't even have sugars, much less my normal presentation of printed out goals and such things. My doctor actually suggested I find a general practitioner (I don't have one) and see about perhaps starting on a mood stabilizer, seeing as how I was obviously stressed and in and out of tears, and taking into account how physical activity with my back and knee is not able to work its mood magic on me. (Run on sentence, I realize this, I am grammatically challenged today, and well, lazy.)

Hmmphh. I did decline the suggestion, as I honestly do feel it is normal to feel fairly overwhelmed and emotional, and I do feel I have not even had a chance to grieve the hopes and dreams and expectations I have had for both of my children nor had the chance to readjust these hopes and dreams and expectations to be more congruent with what I can expect. Dont take this the wrong way. I expect my children to achieve wonderful things and to be wonderful people, but I know that they now have hurdles that I did not know they had previous to these past few weeks. Things will be different than I have always hoped them to be, but perhaps they will be better than I ever could have imagined? We will see.

In my diabetes, I have completely stopped symlin as of today. And I have been handed a tentative diagnosis of gastroparesis. At this point, I'm honestly not too concerned. I have slow digestion at night, but it seems to follow a pattern and I don't get into too much trouble with it, although I had loads of problems with symlin at night, which is partly explained if this diagnosis is actually true. I have to go in to have a test done, but we agreed I could wait four months until my next appointment to set that, as things are a little overwhelming on the family health front right now, and this can just wait.

Gracie's appointment at Children's Hospital is on Monday at 10am. They told me to expect to spend all morning there as we learn a BUNCH of stuff, stock up on prescriptions, and do well, all sorts of stuff that I will tell you about after we do them, because honestly, I don't know what they are. It is touted to take several hours and that is the extent of what I know!

One last note on Sandis's IEP and the social worker from the school. She hasn't managed to call me back. And that REALLY irritates me. But damnit, I think I am probably fairly irritable today.

I also want to thank everyone for their very kind words of support concerning Gracie and Sandis. A lot of times I don't even know how to respond, I'm fairly consumed at this point, but I do want all to know that I really do appreciate it. I find solace reading these kind words after they are in bed and it is good to know that I am not alone in this!