A Call To Action (Insulin is NOT a Cure!)

Scott and Penny have lit the fire in me to write about how diabetes affects my life.

A month ago this post would have been a whole lot different. A month ago I would have focussed a lot on hypoglycemic events I can't feel and the constant variables and guessing that goes into diabetes. I would have focussed on the lifetime I've spent immersed in my disease and all for what? To maybe avoid some complications? To live in a life of highs and lows that constantly affect my emotional state and all of the dealings I have with anything and everyone?

But, in light of all that, I would have said having diabetes sucks but it isn't that bad. I can live with this treatment, for now......I can live with it for ME.

Everything changes.....

This is my daughter, and she is three and a half. She is the newest face to diabetes. She is 31 lbs, 33 inches tall. Her name is Gracie Ardith-Ellen. She has two awesome pinpoint dimples, and the darkest brownest eyes. She even has spiral curls that I think instill the very devil into her temperment. She is the newest face, delving slowly from prediabetes into diabetes. She is an example of a beautiful little girl with a very wrong and unmerciful auto-immune disorder. Take a good look.


My daughter had her first shot of insulin tonight, Lantus, 1/2 unit. I have been a type 1 diabetic for 15 years, and I have managed okay. But do you think that insulin was "good enough" when I gave her her first shot, and comforted her afterwards? Insulin is far from good enough. Insulin is NOT enough. Insulin does NOT solve her problems. Insulin will keep her from dying. That is all. And that same treatment that could keep her from dying could also aid her in dying. This is on my shoulders.

I have never been an advocate for a diabetes cure. I honestly don't believe I will ever see a cure. So why do I bother with this? Because insulin is not good enough. It is good enough for me, I can struggle with it, but it is not good enough for my daughter. That should tell you something about insulin treatment. Fifteen years I have used insulin treatment, and I feel nothing but despair when faced with my daughter also needing it. I have fifteen years experience of poking my fingers and taking those shots, and I am DEVASTATED by the understanding, the TRUE understanding, of what is to come for my daughter and how much her life will change.

My daughter can be anything she wants, even with diabetes, but the pain of knowing her struggles before she has them, is much for my heart to bear.

My daughter does not yet meet clinical diagnostic standards for diabetes. Her highest recorded blood sugar thus far is 177. Her 2 hr PP tonight was 174. Her AM fastings are typically 100-150. Her a1c is currently 5.5%. Her blood sugars are not getting better, they are only getting higher. I am a mother watching helplessly as her daughter falls prey to diabetes. There is nothing I can do to stop it. Nothing I can do to reverse this process.

All I can do is give her the tools she needs to manage this condition as she gets older. I know she is truly blessed to have a mother who is as active in her own personal care as I am. I know Gracie has a phenomenal role model in me, as I had in my mother. I know Gracie will take charge of her diabetes as she gets older. I know this, and I have faith that Gracie will be such a wonderful peanut as she ages that her diabetes will not be a factor. But I know, just as well as you know, that it will always be there, in the background. She will always have to work that much harder. And she is only three. She is only thirty pounds. She is not even three feet tall. She is not who you see when you see diabetes on TV, But she is our newest addition.

This month, I am going to get out of myself, and I am going to tell people about my daughter. Anyone who will listen. Because she is three, and she could be your daughter; she could be their daughter. This is what I am doing to spread awareness about diabetes this month, I am telling Gracie's story. I know it will touch people's hearts.

Perhaps you can tell her story too? Or maybe you have your own story to tell? The point is, get out and educate. There is NOTHING we can do to stop Gracie's diabetes, and there was NOTHING I could have done to stop my own diabetes. This is not a disease of bad habits, this is a disorder that deserves attention and research. Please, get out of yourself this month, and tell a story about diabetes. Get out and educate, because really, if you don't, Who will?